I am so honoured to be able to share this amazing story with you. ‘All-according-to-plan’ birth stories (which do exist!) are a great source of inspiration, but so are the ones where women and their birth partners are thrown a few hurdles and remain focused, calm and in control of what happens to them. Jen & Tom navigated the challenges they were presented with incredibly well, using their hypnobirthing tools at each step, and had a really positive experience, despite it not being their ‘Plan A’.

Jen came to my hypnobirthing group course, pregnancy yoga & relaxation classes, and also did a lot of prep at home. I would often send her a link to an article or a suggestion of someone to follow on socials and she’d have already found it herself! I know this is a big part of why she was able to keep her cool and stay in the driving seat of her birth. Well done Jen & Tom, and welcome, gorgeous Leo! Thanks for sharing this story with others and helping to empower more women, especially those who may find themselves in a similar situation, to have a positive birth!

I had the most incredible pregnancy and was low risk throughout. Attending Hypnobirthing classes and pregnancy yoga with Ruth had also been a positive experience and I felt this really encouraged a strong connection between me and my baby boy.

Unexpectedly, 12 days before my due date, my waters began trickling at 8pm on Thursday in Aldi (what a cliche!!) More gradually leaked out over the course of the evening. I had a midwife appointment the next day, so figured I’d discuss with them rather than ring triage and go to hospital.

The next day, my midwife checked my waters were clear, I didn’t have a temperature and also did my regular observations. The growth progress had gone down, so they recommended a scan at hospital and also contacted triage, who said I was to monitor for signs of infection and contact them if it had been more than 24 hours after waters going without labour starting.

The hospital had guidelines to induce after 24 hours due to the risk of infection increasing after the rupture of membranes. I had done a lot of reading and research (with BRAIN in mind) and learned the risk increased from 0.5% to 1% and that 95% of women would go into spontaneous labour within 48 hours. The risk increased further as more time went on.

I had an internal debate about whether to accept an induction at all or just proceed with an elective c-section at this stage, in an attempt to avoid further trauma.

I had the conversations with the consultant, senior midwife and registrar and explained I would prefer to wait for spontaneous labour to start and stick to my home birth plan.

I negotiated with the hospital to attend for daily monitoring (CTG scans) and allow me to go home to keep an eye on my temperature and make sure waters didn’t change colour.

It was tough to remain headstrong and advocate for myself – I felt immense pressure and disappointment that my body hadn’t done what 95% of other’s do naturally.

I was classed as birthing out of guidance because I went to 90+ hours, instead of the recommended 24 hours with an induction, and told that I was now high risk and my name was placed on the board in antenatal clinic and they were all aware of me (the naughty board!)

We hadn’t told our families as we decided the pressure to update everyone and external worry would be too much to process. Although my sister knew and was very supportive.

I had to decide how long I was prepared to allow my baby to arrive naturally, my thought process was that it hadn’t happened yet because he wasn’t ready and to induce me would cause him unnecessary stress, plus it was still a while to my due date.

Being more risk averse than me, Tom wasn’t as comfortable as I was to wait it out for him to arrive in his own time.

I also had to accept that I wasn’t happy to be monitored every 24 hours in hospital, that was stressful in itself. But the alternative would have been to withdraw further from guidance and risk being reported by the NHS to Social Services. Neither of us were comfortable with this decision.

I held out as long as possible for him to arrive spontaneously and still go ahead with home birth, but it wasn’t to be. After what felt like the longest 4 days in history, a few wobbles, discussions with my birth partner, sister, community midwife and Ruth, we made the decision on Monday to (reluctantly) go in to start the induction process.

I started on a pessary first, before being transferred to the labour ward on a drip, which got my cervix from completely closed to 1cm in 6 hours.

We arrived on the labour ward and the room had been set up with twinkly lighting, creating an immediate positive mindset.

The Consultant and midwife took time to read our birth plan and explain the different elements to us. I was advised to have consistent monitoring, so was hooked to the CTG machine and an IV drip, but they did their utmost to ensure I still had freedom of movement. They also allowed for minimal disruption, quiet and darkness. The consultant carried out a scan which confirmed the baby was back to back. His head was down but the cervix was still quite far back. We set up our speaker and started the process. It may be a long road!

The surges were intense on the synthetic oxytocin and because the baby was back to back, I had a lot of back labour which was pretty uncomfortable. Until this stage I had managed without any pain relief using up breathing, and with Tom’s help massaging me, but I was getting tired and struggling to rest in between surges – they were coming every 2 minutes and lasting around 45 seconds. I had some diamorphine which allowed me to rest between surges.

The consultant came to examine me for the third time and ruptured the remaining waters, rather unpleasant! They told me I was 3cm and they wanted to up the strength of the drip. I broke down into tears – this meant I had only progressed 2cm in 8 hours. I knew I couldn’t continue without further pain relief.

At this point I asked for another scan, to confirm whether the baby was still back to back. I also asked for 30 minutes to decide whether to proceed with the induction or consider alternative options.

The scan confirmed the baby’s positioning hadn’t changed. I knew I couldn’t face carrying on without an epidural and that I was unlikely to turn him without being mobile, which would probably end in assisted delivery and could be quite stressful and exhausting for both me and the baby. We therefore made the decision to go ahead with a c-section.

This was right at the time of shift changeover, we were handed over to theatre with a new team, Tom was scrubbed up and we were ready to go within 30 minutes. It was a category 2 emergency, but again they allowed our birth preferences of delayed cord clamping, with Tom to cut the cord and skin-to-skin. They also allowed me to take my speaker into theatre and play our own music, which helped to keep us in a positive zone.

I’ve never been more relieved to hear a baby’s cry until my son was pulled from the womb. The emotions immediately soared and I will never forget that moment of pure elation and an overwhelming outpouring of love as my baby boy was placed on my chest for the first time.

Although worlds away from the homebirth we’d planned, it was the most positive birthing experience. I felt like every decision was informed and empowered and hypnobirthing helped me enormously in the early labour stage and with decision making. Tom was an amazing birth partner throughout; he listened to my concerns, supported my decisions and talked me through each surge. We birthed in power and I am really proud of the decisions we made at each stage.

On 6th August at 9.16am we welcomed baby Leo, weighing 7lb 8oz, into the world a week before his due date. It is the most rewarding thing I have ever achieved in life and I feel so privileged to now be a family.

If you enjoyed this blog post, you may find these posts useful, too:

Should I plan for an unplanned c-section?

How to plan your beautiful caesarean birth

Three ways to avoid an unnecessary c-section

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