What is a positive birth?

Do you think the term ‘positive birth,’ sounds like a contradiction of terms? an unrealistic pipe-dream? What if I said that a positive birth is where the mum or birthing person feel safe, listened to and respected throughout. That’s it. Does it still sound ‘out there’? Or does it pretty much sound like what we should be expecting from birth? Giving birth is too often viewed as something awful that just ‘has to be done,’ to get your baby, but that doesn’t have to be true. Birth can be a really wonderful experience that can leave you feeling empowered, strong and amazing. I’m not pretending it’s easy, but maybe that’s why it has the power to make you feel all these great things. And if you don’t think it’s worth chasing a positive birth just for those wonderful feelings, then consider that a positive birth will also help you to bond with your baby, establish feeding, speed up recovery, and mean you’re less likely to suffer from post-natal depression.

Why do I need a course to have a positive birth?

Whilst many women and birthing people do have a great experience, some don’t. A 2020 study by the British Journal of Midwifery found that 29% of mothers experienced a traumatic birth, and that 15% met full or partial criteria for PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder)*. What causes birth trauma? Well, it’s not actually about what happens (eg: complications, emergency caesareans, etc) but more about how the woman feels. Women who report feeling out of control or unsupported are likely to suffer from birth trauma, whether they had a ‘straight forward’ birth or one with many medical interventions.

When I had my first baby, I did an NCT class and wouldn’t say I was totally clueless, but I definitely had the view that I’d turn up at hospital and let the midwives lead the way. I had studied practical things like what drugs were on offer and what effects they’d have, and I had a birth plan, but I hadn’t prepared myself for how it would feel and I didn’t have any techniques to actually make that birth plan a reality. So, when I went into labour, the feeling of contractions took me by surprise and quite frankly, it scared me. The midwives and doctors were great- I wrote them gushing thank you cards and I really meant it- I was grateful to them and think they did their jobs really well. The reason my birth became traumatic was that I didn’t know what was going on or how to manage the feelings of labour. So of course, things didn’t run smoothly. 

Here’s what I believe now, with the benefit of knowledge and hindsight:

If I’d had calm breathing techniques and other natural pain relief tools, I’d have managed my contractions without freaking out. 

If I’d not freaked out, I’d not have been offered and accepted drugs that slowed things down and led to me lying on a bed in a position that made things a lot harder for me and my baby.

If I’d known about birth positions, I’d have got on all fours and birthed my baby about 6 hours sooner.

If I’d learned about foetal monitoring and how often it beeps and panics everyone when everything is fine, I’d have stayed calm when they lost P’s heart rate as I moved position, and asked them to check it again in a minute, rather than signing the caesarean/assisted delivery forms and taking my birth down a very different road. 

Hospitals have policies and my care providers followed them. But if I’d known more about the policies and evidence (or lack of evidence) that informs them, I’d have made better decisions for me and I think I’d have had a much shorter and less stressful labour, with a faster recovery. 

Fast forward three years and the birth of my second baby was entirely different. I’d created a birth environment that worked for me; I had breathing techniques and other tools to help me through my contractions; my birth partner knew what to say and what to do to support me. I was calm, in control and had a birth plan that helped me communicate with my midwife so that she could support me in the way I needed her to. Once again, my midwife was wonderful, and a gushing thank you card of course followed, but this time I didn’t feel like I was relying on her in quite the same way. In fact, her wonderfulness was how little she did (or how little I noticed her doing!). Her presence and discrete checks offered me the reassurance I needed to just get on and birth my baby. She behaved in this way not because she’s different to the midwife I had first time around, but because I’d asked her to in my birth plan.

For me, the difference really was hypnobirthing! Why? let’s take a look at what hypnobirthing does and why it’s so effective…

Fear is bad for birth, and hypnobirthing will help get rid of fear

One of my motivations for teaching hypnobirthing and banging on about it to anyone who’ll listen is that I want to change our perceptions of birth so dramatically that one day, pregnant women won’t worry about birth. They won’t worry because they won’t have been brought up in a world that convinces them, quite wrongly, that it’s dangerous and horrible. But for now, we don’t live in that world. With all of the dramatic birth scenes on T.V., plus friends and family dying to tell you about their friend’s sister’s cousin’s awful birth, it’s no wonder so many people fear birth. But fear hinders birth. And no matter how great your care providers are, it’s unlikely that they’ll be able to magically undo years of fear mongering on the day of your birth.

But the good news is that you can unlearn the scary stuff and build up more positive associations with birth on a hypnobirthing course. We start with learning about the science of birth. How many times have you heard people say things like ‘you’d think we’d be designed better,’ when referring to birth? Well, actually, on my course you’ll learn that your body is designed perfectly for birth. With a more detailed understanding of what your body does, you’ll feel reassured that you are able to do it, and you’ll probably have a new found respect for your amazing body! We’ll also use techniques like visualisations, relaxation exercises, positive birth affirmations and lots of work on the mind-body connection to help you get more positive about birth. If this sounds a bit wacky for you, please know it’s logical and tried and tested! These techniques are not unique to birth but are used by many successful people in all walks of life. For example, athletes have been using these techniques for decades and swear by them in terms of helping them achieve their goals. The work you do will transform your perception of birth and leave you feeling confident, and even excited about giving birth. This will make a difference on the day and help you to get a positive birth experience.

Hypnobirthing helps with decision making

Decisions are unavoidable. Your midwives and doctors may be the experts, but they need your informed consent to examine you, to give you drugs, to basically do anything other than just watch. So, even if you wanted to ‘leave everything up to the experts,’ you can’t – they have to explain things to you and you have to make decisions. This may feel alarming in the moment. Why are they offering this to me? Is there something wrong?! and remember, you are in labour! Is this really the best time to try and understand this complex thing? This situation can lead to stress, or, perhaps to a labouring mum saying yes to things without really understanding what it is they’re agreeing to. This might keep stress at bay in the moment, but can lead to feelings of regret and possibly trauma afterwards.

If you’ve done a hypnobirthing course, you’ll have probably already learned about whatever it is that the healthcare professionals are suggesting, and if not, you’ll have the tools you need to ask the right questions and make the right decision for you and your baby whilst limiting the stress you feel. This means a more comfortable birth, but also, you’re more likely to look back on your decision and feel positive about it. On my course, we’ll talk through a range of scenarios and I’ll help you to consider what questions to ask to ensure you stay in control of your birth. You’ll also have time to think about how you would like to be supported and how you can communicate this clearly on your birth plan. As you’re unlikely to have a midwife who you’ve met at appointments, this is really important as it helps them to get a picture of what you want so they can help you achieve it.

You know something about birth that nobody else does. Hypnobirthing will show you what that is…

Remember that oxytocin, the birth hormone, is only produced when you are feeling happy, calm and relaxed. So, regardless of how little you think you know about birth, who could be more of an expert on what makes you feel happy than you and your birth partner? There are far more things you and your birth partner can do to help this labour than you probably imagine. I mean, LOADS! We’ll look at how you can create a great birthing environment (in any setting, not just for home births!), how your birth partner can help you feel more comfortable, how to stay relaxed and generally how to keep that oxytocin (birth hormone) flowing! I’ve got lots of practical suggestions, but more importantly, you’ll gain the understanding you need to think of your own ways to make sure you feel safe and loved during your birth. These are things that the medical professionals are unlikely to have time to help you with on the day, but that can make a huge difference.

So basically…

In short, the knowledge and techniques taught through hypnobirthing empower mums and birthing people to feel in control of their birth, allowing them to approach it with calm and confidence, and to make decisions they are likely to feel positive about days, weeks and years after they birth their baby. Hypnobirthing makes the your ‘plan A’ birth more likely to happen, and makes getting a positive birth more likely no matter what actually happens.

If you’d like to learn more about the courses I offer, click here.

If you have any questions about this blog or hypnobirthing, head to the contact page or find me on Facebook or Instagram.

*If you wanted to read the full report on birth trauma in the British Journal of Midwifery, it’s here.